Interviews

First Name
Kelly
Age Group
41-45
Gender
Female
City
Seattle
State
Washington
Zip Code
98198
Marital Status
Single
How many people share the living space with you?
None
What is your highest level of formal education?
Other
What race/ethnicity do you belong to?
White
What is the frequency of your visits to the health care provider?
Every Month
Are you presently employed? If yes, what is your occupation?
Yes Office Manger for a very small company. Just started 6/1/05
Were you employed previously? If yes, when and where?
yes In seattle-got laid off 4/28/05
What conditions have you been diagnosed with? When? Where?
BiPolar 1 with rapid cycling-PSTD-Anxiety-Insomnia-Fibromyalgia. With Psychiatrist and Rumatologist in February 2000
Have you ever been hospitalized? If yes, how many times? When was the last time that you were hospitalized?
No
Please describe everything you know about your condition(s) and how you obtained such information?
I have done alot of research online and reading books and from my Psychiatrist. I have learned how to tell when I am going Manic and what to do and when I am going into deep depression and know what to do and If I get suicidal I call my Psychiatrist or a friend.
Please illustrate your life before, during, and after learning of your condition(s) and engaging in therapies, if any?
Before-I drank alot and was very depressed alot, but when I got Manic I was happy and verry uninhibited and was out of control. During-I was afraid to go to a Psychiatrist because I didn;t want her to think I was crazy. After going to see my Psychiatrist, we tried many different meds. SSRI's cause me to go manic and have tremors. Depakote made my hair fall out. I saw her every 2 weeks at 1st. When I was stable it was only once a month.
Please describe how you cope with your condition(s), if at all, and the effectiveness of each strategy?
I get into a very deep depression and I don;t want to go to work. I call in and say I have pneumonia or something that is really bad. I stay in bed for days at a time, but that only happens a few times a year. When I know I am going down, I up my anti-depressant or my mood stabilizer according to my Dr's instructions. When I am going manic, well if I am hypomanic I kind of enjoy it. But can't let it get in to mania. I have my sister and mom and a friend to talk too.
Does the state of your health impede in any way your everyday activities such as work, housework, studies and so on?
Yes it does sometimes, I do not keep my house clean. I have a phobia of taking out my trash. I think everyone is watching me and that I have too much trash. At work soemtimes I get manic and talk real fast and do a thousand things at once, then all of a sudden I am hiding in my office with tears, because I am so sad.
Does the state of your health impede in any way your social activities, such as inviting others to your residence, accepting invitations, going out with friends and so on?
I don't let anyone in my house because it is sooo dirty, I stay alone alot, I get anxiety attacks when I have to leave my house except to go to work. I never go out, I really don;t have any friends to hang out with.
How would you classify your daily interactions with people in general? (Comfortable, neutral, awkward, unpleasant) Please describe in detail.
I have to be pleasant but I have to watch myself because I get into a mood where people just bother me, and I don't want to be bothered with them. I am good at putting on my happy face when inside I am aggitated and nervous and scared.
How do you envision your future?
I wish I knew. Right now at this moment I don't envision any future except going to work, coming home, being alone, sleeping alone and then waking up and going to work again. I dread coming into my house because I can't stand the mess, but it is too overwhelming to me, I don;t know even where to start because I have too much trash and afraid to take it out. I have Osteoarthritis in left hip and can't lift my right leg up because of some torn muscle. I have to use a sstrap to pull my leg into the car and onto the bed. So I don't even want to be in the future. I still don;t know why or how people even want to live. There is nothing for me to live for except for my dog.
On the whole, I am satisfied with myself.
Strongly Disagree
At times I think I am no good at all.
Strongly Agree
I feel that I have a number of good qualities.
Agree
I am able to do things as well as most other people.
Agree
I feel I do not have much to be proud of.
Agree
I certainly feel useless at times.
Strongly Agree
I feel that I'm a person of worth, at least on an equal plane with others.
Disagree
I wish I could have more respect for myself.
Strongly Agree
All in all, I am inclined to feel that I am a failure.
Agree
I take a positive attitude toward myself.
Disagree
I can always manage to solve difficult problems if I try hard enough.
Strongly Disagree
If someone opposes me, I can find the ways and means to get what I want.
Strongly Disagree
I am certain that I can accomplish my goals.
Agree
I am confident that I could deal efficiently with unexpected events.
Agree
Thanks to my resourcefulness, I can handle unforeseen situations.
Disagree
I can solve most problems if I invest the necessary effort.
Disagree
I can remain calm when facing difficulties because I can rely on my coping abilities.
Agree
When I am confronted with a problem, I can find several solutions.
Strongly Disagree
If I am in trouble, I can think of a good solution.
Disagree
I can handle whatever comes my way.
Disagree
With my illness experience, I feel I am:
More often tense
More often uncomfortable
Almost always in agony
More often distraught
More often discouraged
More often unsure
More often helpless
Often uncertain
My relationships help me feel I am:
More often worthless
More often distressed
Almost always distant
Almost always isolated
More often excluded
Often blamed
More often criticized
Towards those who are emotionally close to me, I feel I am:
Equally forgiving and resentful
More often unreceptive
Often rejecting
Often discouraging
More often distrusting
Often misunderstanding
Equally respectful and disrespectful
Universal beliefs and principles or a divine presence help me feel I am:
Often uninspired
More often troubled
More often judged
More often aimless
More often rejected
More often out-of-step
Almost always adrift
Towards universal beliefs and principles or a divine presence I feel I am:
Equally listening and ignoring
More often closed
Often demanding
More often critical
More often receding
More often resisting
More often separating