Interviews

First Name
kaitlyn
Age Group
16-20
Gender
Female
City
dunedin
State
Florida
Zip Code
34698
Marital Status
Single
How many people share the living space with you?
6-10
What is your highest level of formal education?
High School
What race/ethnicity do you belong to?
White
What is the frequency of your visits to the health care provider?
Every Month
Are you presently employed? If yes, what is your occupation?
yes, a clothing store
Were you employed previously? If yes, when and where?
always a clothing store
What conditions have you been diagnosed with? When? Where?
anxiety and complications with the PFC (prefrontal cortex) section of my brain.
Have you ever been hospitalized? If yes, how many times? When was the last time that you were hospitalized?
yes once when i was 15 on a baker act because an anxiety attack which lead to my threatening suicide.
Please describe everything you know about your condition(s) and how you obtained such information?
Anxiety- more than just feeling anxious sometimes. It's feeling anxious all the time. It's normal to feel anxious about a big test... or about a job.. or a relationship. My anxiety is more serious because I feel anxious about life. It's just a part of who i am and it's a feeling that will never go away. Prefrontal Cortex (PFC) -is the part of your brain which controls your attention span.. the way that you focus and pay attention. I found out through my own studies that i had PFC problems. When I talked to my psychiatrist , he agreed. People with ADD/ADHD have PFC problems but you don't necessarily have to have ADD/ADHD to have problems in this area of your brain. I am not ADD, but i do have serious problems focusing. These 2 together make a mess of me. I have serious problems paying attention and focusing on things, and to make matters worse i am extremely anxious all of the time.
Please illustrate your life before, during, and after learning of your condition(s) and engaging in therapies, if any?
Before - I thought something was wrong with me. I viewed myself as different. In a bad way. My insecurities ate me alive. I felt like there was no hope for me, no matter what. I didn't feel good enough for anyone or anything. I hated myself. I thought..." How can people could live their life in a normal happy way... if they fee; the way I feel?" Then i realized.... "Hmm... maybe not everyone feels this way... Maybe its just me." This made me even more anxious because it made me feel alone. I thought I was the only one who had these feelings of extreme anxiety. During- I felt like I was finding answers... i thought.. " Maybe, there is hope." And after doing enough research I realized that I was not alone. I wasnt the only one who felt this way. After learning that other people suffer from anxiety, and problems focusing.. I felt like even though i have a problem.. I'm not the only one. This changed my outlook on myself. Then.. after learning that there are other brain problems such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, etc.. It made me want to learn more about psychiatry and help myself and others. After engaging in therapies- Sometimes I use cognitive thinking and try to reprogram the negative thoughts in my head and turn them into positive ones. Also medications - zoloft for my anxiety and dexadrine for my PFC problems. They help extremely. My life is focused and even though these problems still exist.. I have a total different outlook on myself. I love myself. I dont think "Maybe, there is hope." ... I KNOW there IS hope!
Please describe how you cope with your condition(s), if at all, and the effectiveness of each strategy?
Cognitive thinking - reprogramming the negative thoughts into positive thoughts change my outlook on myself. This is effective sometimes but it's hard because i dont have the attention span to focus on these thoughts. In order for this process to be effective, you need to have a good attention span to focus on changing these thoughts. Dexadrine- This helps me to pay attention and focus Zoloft- This relieves my anxiety I used to drink and smoke and I thought that would make my anxiety/depression go away. It worked for a couple of hours and then i felt the same anxiety as before. Now I have changed. I dont smoke at all.. but i do drink occasionally. Unlike my highschool-friends.. I do not get drunk all of the time. I don't waste my time doing things that waste my life. I would rather do things that are productive, such as study, work, make money, go shopping, get a tan. Things that make me happy are things that make me feel like I am using my life and my time wisely. Prescription drugs are helpful, but other drugs might make you feel good for a minute.. and then you're right back to where you started. To avoid going in circles, I suggest the most effective method is to not abuse alcohol or other drugs. It wont make anything go away. Spend your time doing things that WILL make it go away.
Does the state of your health impede in any way your everyday activities such as work, housework, studies and so on?
Yes I never want to do chores because It's hard for me to focus long enough to do it. At work I am anxious because I am around a lot of people and that makes me nervous. I start to feel like everyones watching me. That is my anxiety. With my studies, my attention span can be a problem as well. In relationships, my anxiety is a major problem because I am so insecure that I push everyone away. I won't let anyone in. I'm just too scared. Sometimes it scares me because I think that I wont EVER find true love... love could find me but I'll push it away because of my anxiety/insecurities.
Does the state of your health impede in any way your social activities, such as inviting others to your residence, accepting invitations, going out with friends and so on?
Yes. I've dated so many guys and I never bring them home. I dont want to invite them home because I'm scared of letting anyone in my personal life. My anxiety kicks in and then I start to push people away. I don't mind going places and going to meet other peoples families, but I have a problem letting people in (my) life.
How would you classify your daily interactions with people in general? (Comfortable, neutral, awkward, unpleasant) Please describe in detail.
neutral but sometimes awkward because i get along with almost everyone. I'm really loving and outgoing and if you met me you wouldnt think that i had a brain disorder. I handle my brain complications very well. I'm glad God made me a strong person because I used to wonder what the point of living was if I felt so worthless all of the time. Once I realized that feeling wasn't normal.. I got help. Now I feel like my life is more than worth living. My interactions with people are just fine, but sometimes I overanalyze what people think of me.
How do you envision your future?
I think I will be very successful. I want to become a psychiatrist and not just help myself, but help others.
On the whole, I am satisfied with myself.
Agree
At times I think I am no good at all.
Agree
I feel that I have a number of good qualities.
Strongly Agree
I am able to do things as well as most other people.
Agree
I feel I do not have much to be proud of.
Strongly Disagree
I certainly feel useless at times.
Agree
I feel that I'm a person of worth, at least on an equal plane with others.
Strongly Agree
I wish I could have more respect for myself.
Strongly Agree
All in all, I am inclined to feel that I am a failure.
Disagree
I take a positive attitude toward myself.
Strongly Agree
I can always manage to solve difficult problems if I try hard enough.
Disagree
If someone opposes me, I can find the ways and means to get what I want.
Disagree
I am certain that I can accomplish my goals.
Strongly Disagree
I am confident that I could deal efficiently with unexpected events.
Strongly Disagree
Thanks to my resourcefulness, I can handle unforeseen situations.
Strongly Disagree
I can solve most problems if I invest the necessary effort.
Disagree
I can remain calm when facing difficulties because I can rely on my coping abilities.
Disagree
When I am confronted with a problem, I can find several solutions.
Agree
If I am in trouble, I can think of a good solution.
Agree
I can handle whatever comes my way.
Strongly Disagree
With my illness experience, I feel I am:
More often tense
Equally comfortable and uncomfortable
Often in agony
Often composed
Almost always optimistic
Equally confident and unsure
Often helpless
Almost always uncertain
My relationships help me feel I am:
Often valued
Equally comforted and distressed
Equally close and distant
Often connected
Equally included and excluded
More often supported
Often accepted
Towards those who are emotionally close to me, I feel I am:
Almost always forgiving
Almost always welcoming
Equally accepting and rejecting
Equally encouraging and discouraging
Often trusting
Often understanding
Almost always respectful
Universal beliefs and principles or a divine presence help me feel I am:
Almost always inspired
Almost always comforted
Almost always accepted
Almost always guided
Almost always embraced
Often in harmony
Equally sustained and adrift
Towards universal beliefs and principles or a divine presence I feel I am:
More often listening
More often receptive
More often thankful
More often accepting
More often approaching
More often willing
Equally connecting and separating