First Name
Age Group
Not Provided
New York
Zip Code
Marital Status
How many people share the living space with you?
What is your highest level of formal education?
High School
What race/ethnicity do you belong to?
What is the frequency of your visits to the health care provider?
Every 3 Months
Are you presently employed? If yes, what is your occupation?
Yes - Sales
Were you employed previously? If yes, when and where?
Yes - Management and Military
What conditions have you been diagnosed with? When? Where?
Biplar Disorder - November 2004
Have you ever been hospitalized? If yes, how many times? When was the last time that you were hospitalized?
Very close but through the assistance of loved ones was talked into seeking outpatient treatment which caught the problem just in time.
Please describe everything you know about your condition(s) and how you obtained such information?
I know that Bipolar Illness is a manageable disease, although not curable. I understand that it's a very complex disease where we are trying to learn more and more about it each and every day. It's very unfortunate but true, many studies of the past were conducted inadequately or with the "worse of the worse" not providing reliable results. I've reseached much of what I understand through reading books on Bipolar Information (all say about the same thing) and Internet Research on reputable sites only. I search Google News Daily looking for any breaking news on the condition as well.
Please illustrate your life before, during, and after learning of your condition(s) and engaging in therapies, if any?
My life before being diagnosised was a rollercoaster calmed by drugs and alchohol. I've been very sucessful in finding employment and excelling in performance while employed, but would become very bored with each and every job opportunity with 2-3 years of time. I wanted to be promoted at unrealistic rates and would look elsewhere when the promotion was not available. While home at night, I would "calm" my racing mind with anything I could find to include my personal favorites; marijuana and alchohol and then was intruduced to Valium which sent me over the edge. My first psychotic episode was after a break from Valium and days I would not want to ever have back (thoughts of being god like). Of course as texbook bipolar would describe, these highs were followed by extreme lows where death was something I'd welcome at times, praying for an end to the pain in my life.
Please describe how you cope with your condition(s), if at all, and the effectiveness of each strategy?
I cope today through heavy prescribed coctail of drugs consisting of Depakote, Lexapro, and a daily vitamin. I've given up alcohol but still can't give up the binge every 2 weeks or so of my new favorite "high" of vicatin to combat the tired feelings I have on my drugs. I do well at work, but could do better if not still "using"
Does the state of your health impede in any way your everyday activities such as work, housework, studies and so on?
It does. There are day's I don't want to go to bed. I have problems remembering simple things like names now (in sales not a good thing). I get up and go, because I have too and it's the right thing to do.
Does the state of your health impede in any way your social activities, such as inviting others to your residence, accepting invitations, going out with friends and so on?
It does not. Although, I feel very comfortable around people I know and trust, going out with strangers is tough. I do it each and every time with a fake type smile, pretending I'm having fun, but it's at the expense of me being there "working" to have a good time. Hope that makes sense. I can get out - but it's not easy - it's work.
How would you classify your daily interactions with people in general? (Comfortable, neutral, awkward, unpleasant) Please describe in detail.
Above describes in general. If it's someone I know - GREAT. If it's business related - GREAT. If it's social and I don't know them - I Make It Through - but it's uncomfortable and work.
How do you envision your future?
A struggle in which I need to remind myself a cure probably won't be in my timeline. So, for me, I have to get up every day and do the best I can with the information I have then. There will be peaks and valleys and I would like to think with a positive attitude, I can control there being more peaks than valleys and rely on coping techniques through the valleys.
On the whole, I am satisfied with myself.
At times I think I am no good at all.
I feel that I have a number of good qualities.
I am able to do things as well as most other people.
Strongly Agree
I feel I do not have much to be proud of.
I certainly feel useless at times.
Strongly Agree
I feel that I'm a person of worth, at least on an equal plane with others.
I wish I could have more respect for myself.
All in all, I am inclined to feel that I am a failure.
I take a positive attitude toward myself.
I can always manage to solve difficult problems if I try hard enough.
If someone opposes me, I can find the ways and means to get what I want.
I am certain that I can accomplish my goals.
I am confident that I could deal efficiently with unexpected events.
Thanks to my resourcefulness, I can handle unforeseen situations.
I can solve most problems if I invest the necessary effort.
I can remain calm when facing difficulties because I can rely on my coping abilities.
When I am confronted with a problem, I can find several solutions.
If I am in trouble, I can think of a good solution.
I can handle whatever comes my way.
With my illness experience, I feel I am:
Often relaxed
Equally comfortable and uncomfortable
Often at ease
Equally composed and distraught
Equally optimistic and discouraged
Equally confident and unsure
Equally capable and helpless
Equally certain and uncertain
My relationships help me feel I am:
Often valued
Often comforted
Equally close and distant
Equally connected and isolated
Equally included and excluded
Often supported
Often accepted
Towards those who are emotionally close to me, I feel I am:
Equally forgiving and resentful
Equally welcoming and unreceptive
Equally accepting and rejecting
Often encouraging
Equally trusting and distrusting
Equally understanding and misunderstanding
Equally respectful and disrespectful
Universal beliefs and principles or a divine presence help me feel I am:
Equally inspired and uninspired
Equally comforted and troubled
Equally accepted and judged
Equally guided and aimless
Equally embraced and rejected
Equally in harmony and out-of-step
Equally sustained and adrift
Towards universal beliefs and principles or a divine presence I feel I am:
Equally listening and ignoring
Equally receptive and closed
Equally thankful and demanding
Equally accepting and critical
Equally approaching and receding
Equally willing and resisting
Equally connecting and separating